So, I tell Jack I want to snap a picture on the way to guitar lessons... sweaty from neighborhood football, he messes his hair up with happiness for the pic.
I told him this was like taking a picture of baby's first steps, first words, or first birthday.
What was HIS milestone?
I told Jack how far he had come and how proud I was of him...
He had overcome a lot of personal pain. His early instincts were to keep his head down or sleep or refrain from friends. Shyness. Embarressment. Even the teachers had noticed... the failure to laugh... the head on the desk.... These were the early days of school....
He agreed with me about his progress and said, "Want me to tell you how I know I'm doing well?"
He recounted a story about a boy in his class who didn't want to win a puppy calendar in a raffle that day. The boy said his dog had died two years ago. The calendar would make his mom cry and his whole family sad. Jack said he thought in his head, "Well you need to get over that." (ha)
Jack said to the boy, " Well, my brother died this year and I wouldn't mind a baby calendar and MY mom wouldn't cry."
And there it was... an ownership of a life fact. Planting his feet and putting it out there and not with him or in him. Out there. That's it- A life fact.
And Because of Charlie he entered the studio to spin his fingers all over those strings and head bob and smile...He told his guitar instructor the story and he howled and gave him a Hi 5 "attaboy".
This picture is my child's graduation from The Blame and Shame Grief School.... unbelievable.